A very special friend inspired this post. He's someone who has always challenged me to delve deeper into my own thought process and question the very nature of my being.
2017 has been a massive year of changes for me. Some welcome and some unexpected, but I'd like to think I've taken them in my stride as much as possible with some tears but mostly acceptance. My husband and I moved to a new and completely unexplored (by us) area of Australia, I lost a job and gained an entirely new mindset, we bought a house (!) and biggest of them all was that we found out we are expecting a baby in September. Any one of these incidents would be enough to shake a person up on multiple levels, but all of them happening at once has been monumental.
Reflecting on these recent turn of events has got me reminiscing about days gone past, namely my 20's and what it means to be an 'adult' now with a mortgage, a baby on the way, a husband, a dog and an endless list of responsibilities. I think everyone who's known me for a considerable amount of time are still in shock that I've somehow, accidentally transitioned into an adult. I share their sentiment, but mostly, I feel surprisingly ready for these changes.
Nostalgia is an incredibly powerful emotion - one that has shaped the World in multiple ways this past year with Brexit and Trump. Drawing on these emotions will prohibit growth and propel us into the past; a place where we can never change, but only dwell on what was. While this place is warm and familiar, from personal experience I don't believe anything progressive or positive can really be explored in this space or mindset.
As my World will change permanently this September with the birth of my daughter, I'm forced to look at my past; this incredibly tumultuous, exciting and unpredictable time in my life, and put it to rest, with some regret that I may never feel that way again. I feel oddly ready to embark on life's next adventure, which for me means finding meaning in the World and getting to know myself more deeply.
I've been able to hold up a very tentative mirror onto myself, through my artwork, and explore what it means to exist in this space in time, in history, in this life. What matters to me and what am I doing about it? These are hard questions, and ones that I've spent a lot of time sitting with over the past few months. I'm still looking for the answers, but what I do know is that I've never felt more real than I do right now. For the first time in a very long time, I feel as though I'm really living my life instead of just watching it pass me by.
The next frontier is one that I'm truly relishing. Partly because I've experienced a hell of a lot in my 20's; moments in time like songs that I can go back to and revisit. Their meaning, due to a fresh context, is slightly altered each time I listen to them. Here's a very small collection of songs that will forever hold a piece of my heart, immortalised in time.